Failures Taught Me a Lot

Story of Ria Maya Sari

I am (almost) 28 years old woman. At the end of my 20s, there is a lot of pressure for me to get married.

It is not like I won’t get married. I already failed three times in having a serious romantic relationship for the past years. The main problem was not me but the guy, so I decided to end the relationship. I even remember it clearly how it took me several years to heal from the failure. The problem was complicated, and the wrong way of separation left a burden that hinders me from moving on smoothly.

Even after several years, I still have fear and crisis in starting a new commitment. However, I keep telling myself that God is never testing me beyond my capability. I try not to dwelling on the failure too much. I seek any help from others, God, and even myself.

I accept the fact that I have failures and need help. I keep myself busy with positive activities, so the sadness is not occupying me. I am assuring myself that I deserve a better one. Sometimes I talk to a friend; to share my thoughts and feelings as I am unable to speak openly to my parents. As time goes by, I consider being honest with my parents and asking them for not pressuring me to get married.

Then, the homework is on me. I know that I have to open my heart again. I need to be more selective in finding the one. The fear and traumatic feelings sometimes reappear, but I try not to overgeneralizing all the guys. I try to give forgiveness to my past and keep convincing myself that I deserve a better future.

I keep trying to enhance my trust in the new one and avoid the same mistakes from occurring. I come to the realization that all the failures have shaped me to be a stronger, wiser, and pour more respect to the commitment and relationship.



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Comma ID is a social community that focuses on mental health and personal development issues in people within the age group 20–30 years old.