The Role of Reflections: Forgive, then Let Go

Story of Ayu Kartika

Self-reflection is undoubtedly a lonely process, though the process itself might involve others, even the uncontrolled conditions.

Let me tell you about my self-reflection last year (2019), which was about “forgiving.”

Ironically, I said the word “forgiveness” easier to others yet challenging to be implemented, even to myself.

Easier said, than done, huh?

My thought was on the side of reconciliation, but my feelings stayed on the hateful point. My thought said, “accept and face it,” but my feelings pointed out the worry of being useless. My thought said “enough,” but my feelings keep feeling guilty.

It is funny, huh?. The mind and feelings never meet. So, what am I supposed to do?

Afterward, I arrive at a certain point in which taught me about forgiving. The lesson-learned were:

• admit there is a painful wound
• recognize the trigger of the wound
• understand the feeling and automatic thoughts toward it
• know that my process, his/hers, theirs could be different
• accept that changes are a gradual process, not instantly happened

It is okay to say it is hurtful. It is okay to say it is difficult.

Find your position. Find the right way and time for you to start realizing, admitting, accepting, and letting all the burden go, one by one.

Just remember that someone is always out there to give you a helping hand whenever you are in need.